Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
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