Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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