literally had 100 drinks last night.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
