remember when you found twisted pleasure condoms in my parents bathroom? theyre gone.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
whose parrot is this?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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