I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
