So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
