you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I could fuck to npr.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
