people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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