Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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