Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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