Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
