I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize