wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
My cat gives me a boner
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Randomize
