Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
His hands were made for my vagina.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
