Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
