She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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