biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize