All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
he just fucked me for my cheese.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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