Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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