im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Also, beer. Big fan.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
