I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
