ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
