When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
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