Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
