So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
