So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
