Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
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