Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
