Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just cut my nipple shaving
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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