im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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