she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
