So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Randomize