youre lurking in front of me
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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