Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
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