Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Randomize
