Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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