Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
There's even glitter on my cock...
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