so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Randomize
