I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
