Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
dude. I can hear the air.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize