The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
