Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
I have already put on my inside pants.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
