Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I AM VODKA MAN
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize