We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
