You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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