puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
no you cant smoke seaweed
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize
