When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
