three words: i give head
three words: not that well
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
