I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
