So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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