Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
