i think i have two assholes
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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