I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
FUCK WHALES
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
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