4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Randomize
