I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Randomize
