I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
operation have a gay friend backfired
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
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