I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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