thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
