I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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