I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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