I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize