Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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