Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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