Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
