Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
