ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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