just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
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