I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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