i just had sex bonerless
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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