Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
