lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I think we might need a safe word for this...
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
