I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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