Is it because I queefed?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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