Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
