I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
