you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
