This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
